The sun came out after the rain today. The guards didn’t notice when i slipped out the side gate. Helel was waiting under the fig tree, hair half out of its ribbon and a grass stain on his sleeve. He always finds the puddles before i do. We played knights again but he didn’t want to be the king this time. He said kings are always loud and wrong and he’d rather be the dragon because dragons don’t have to explain themselves to anyone. I told him i’d still come rescue him even if he was a dragon. He gave me that look he always does when he thinks i'm talking nonsense. We picked wild fern and pressed it into the pages of my book. He said if we keep collecting things from each visit we’ll never forget this. I think i’ll always remember anyway.
We went to the back garden where the peach trees are. They’re not blooming yet but the air smells sweet already. He climbed the fence even though the guards told him not to. I watched him from below. His boots got caught in the vines and he nearly slipped and i thought i was going to be sick if he fell but then he didn’t. He never does. He just laughed and reached down to pull me up. He’s so warm. Not just his hands but everything. I don’t know how to write it right. We sat on the top of the fence and i told him about the stars. About how some people say they’re hung on the sky by angels. He said that’s dumb but then he asked which star was mine. I didn’t know what he meant. He pointed up and said “If you had a star which one would you be?” I told him i didn’t want one if he didn’t have one too. He looked surprised at that then he said “We’ll share one then.” Later on he fell asleep beside me leaning against the trunk of the old apricot tree. I stayed awake because i didn’t want to miss anything. I wish we saw each other every day. I’d braid his hair properly. Tell him about the stars. Let him fall asleep on my shoulder.
When Helel visits his carriage always arrives in the late morning. I wait for it by the front steps pretending i’m reading a book but really i’m just looking up every few seconds hoping it’s him. Today he had a braid in his hair. A messy one probably done in a hurry. It didn’t even go all the way down just sort of stopped halfway like he got bored or distracted. It was lopsided too but it looked really nice on him. I wanted to tell him but then i remembered how he gets when people talk about his hair so i didn’t. I just looked at it a lot and hoped he didn’t notice.