i love you so much, zai. you're so sweet and gorgeous, and you are honestly so sweet to me. i know i'm not that affectionate and i don't write these messages to you as often as we both wish i would, but i plan to try and write to you more; admittedly it won't be very high on the list of other things i'd like to improve for you. you're more patient with me than you should be but i thank you regardless for that. you know all of my flaws, insecurities and every single time that i struggle yet you love me anyways. i'm grateful for you and every second you've spent in my life, even the difficult ones. you make every moment we have together perfectly worth it and, despite the hurt, i'm glad it was with you. i'm so in love with you, daisy; your voice, your laugh, the way you stupidly chant about owning the 24k gold labubu, your complaints, your anger, your hurt, your love, your hate, your interests, your selflessness, your selfishness, your gasps that end up just being giggles, your playful insults, the way you've rambled to me about taylor swift, the way you listen to me ramble, how you talk to me and the way you love me.
i love every trait about you, my sweet boy. i wish we were together too, it upsets me a lot sometimes but then you talk to me and everything's okay again. i love talking to you so so so much, i'm so happy i met you and that i even got the chance to actually speak to you. you're the funniest, kindest and most caring man i've ever met n i'm so glad you're in my life, especially romantically. you are the best boyfriend i've ever met and will ever meet; we both know that for a fact, samu. please, never leave me, i genuinely don't know what i would do without you. you've changed my life more than you'll ever know and you've made me the happiest i've ever been, my own friends have pointed out that i'm so much happier with you around.
i love you, osamu dazai. my osamu dazai. please never feel guilty for how you are, you're forever amazing in my eyes.
yours truly, lilith<3